Have you received “Beautiful :* :* :*” on a picture and immediately been angry? And have you proceeded to tell your friends about this, and been met with comments like “He called you beautiful, you have a problem with that?” “Learn to take compliments woman!” “OMG such an Indian woman thing to say, no wonder you girls are so unapproachable” “Why are you even calling him out? It looks attention-seeking” “He didn’t say pussy or boobs, what’s wrong?” which left you wondering “Am I over-reacting?”
I’ve time and again spoken about online harassment and misuse of pictures, and thanks to me pointing out every creep who thinks he can leave a comment and get away with it, the creepy activity on my profile has reduced considerably. When I check my DMs once in a while, I’m happy to report that the number of unsolicited dick pics and sleazy comments are close to 0. All because I chose to call them out, and eventually block.
I have a simple question- why is choosing to respond an overreaction? I simply called out a creep for leaving kisses on my profile. Who decides how I feel about something? More often than not, a lot of men seem to have “advice” on how to handle these comments. I ask this question once again- who gets to decide how we as women must feel about these comments we receive on our social media? You, a vagina less human, or you, who has no idea about what is going on behind the scenes, or you, who doesn’t have to check IG every 30 minutes to block creeps and delete sleazy comments?
I am a little embarrassed to say that many men who I call friends thought the same. “You’re a chill girl, why this drama now?” Sometimes it’s so frustrating to deal with their “logical solutions” to every goddamn feeling, and sometimes their sheer audacity of having to exist without all this sleaziness being directed at them, is enough to trigger you. It’s not easy being a woman, how do we explain this in simpler terms?
Men, this one’s for you. Do not try telling a woman what she’s supposed to feel like. Her feelings, her mood, her boundaries, you have no right to tell her what’s right what’s wrong. There are women who think I am wrong in putting up pictures in swimsuits, and there are women who feel empowered seeing these pictures. There are days when there are a lot of creepy DMs and comments that need to be called out, and there are days when nothing like this ever happens. I once dated someone who hated this about me, and it made me rebel and do this even more. He’d ask “how can clothing make you feel empowered man” to which I’d ask “Do you understand how women are looked at, and how it feels to be confident to wear what you want to?” “Confidence has nothing to do with clothes” and that’s where I knew things were going to end S-O-O-N.
As men, you don’t have to think about what to wear, what time of the day you’re getting out at, which area are you going to, if you’re alone or with your friends, if someone is posting pictures of you on a “Hot Models Only” and “Call Girls 24×7” profile. You don’t have to deal with “hey dear want to be friends? FU here’s my dick pic” and “she’s a whore because she dates others and not me” So don’t try telling us what it should feel like to see a creep comment “beautiful :* :* :*” on our profiles?
If only men understood the need to not feel so entitled to hand over their opinions every time a woman tried to express herself. If you don’t have a solution to a problem, do not add on to the misery by giving advice on how she’s wrong. And if you still don’t get it, here’s a golden rule – no vagina, no opinion on vagina related issues.