February 19, 2014
Yes, you read that right. I am still trying to get over the fact that this happened with me. Of course, it’s no big deal, but then you don’t really come across such exposure everyday, you know.
Honestly, Thought Catalog is like my guilty pleasure. So yes, it was a little embarrassing to find out that an article was actually published! I was in shock for 5 minutes…and then it struck me. Of course I was happy, of course I was squealing! But within seconds I realized this would mean a whloe lot of negative feedback from ALL OVER THE WORLD! (That’s the worst part about the arts..it’s so subjective, you are bound to get haters) But it’s been 36 hours since the article was published, and I’ve not got bad reviews *touchwood* (Though there were two who went off on another tangent- something about how I made feminist sound like a bad thing. Lulz, cos I go on to say something on the lines of “to each his own” Oh well, the word I should have used was”humanist” So yeah, my bad too. Someone was kind enough to point that out to me. Anyway, I sincerely hope they got my point)
Also, phew!
*Note- It’s been 5 days, I’m guessing the negative comments have started pouring in. I am not surprised. It does hurt to see yourself being misunderstood, and even though you don’t want to know it, you end up clicking on the link and reading all that people have to say…..*sigh* Some people,very simply, told me this- you have written something which has been published on an international portal, you are bound to get feedback. Not everyone will agree. You just got to be strong. Don’t bother what something someone sitting in a chair in some remote corner of the world has to say about this. This is what you felt, and you wrote it.
And yes, there are those who agree, and I am glad they liked reading it (I get around 20-30 mails everyday from people thanking me for the article) and then there are those who absolutely hated my guts the moment they read the article. To some I might be oblivious, naive, or maybe a plain and simple fool. But I have nothing to prove to anybody. I know where I come from, and that’s enough to keep me from changing my stance on the whole thing.
In case you haven’t checked Thought Catalog (and don’t wish to in the future) here’s what I wrote-
20 Generalizations Indian Girls Are Fed Up With
Sometimes life isn’t fair, and though people are opening up to the idea of the “modern woman”, there are a few who judge us incorrectly, especially here in India. I won’t go into a lengthy explanation; once again, I am just trying to prove my point here. It is definitely going to sound feminist, but I assure you, I believe in equality of the sexes. I am just expressing my opinion here. Not everyone might agree, but you might want to read it.
- Not every girl wants to get married by 23. So before you ASSUME she’s of marriageable age, ask her what her views on marriage are. One hint, might save you the drama- just because she does not want to get married now does not mean she never will. She has other plans for herself right now, let her live a little.
- Just because a girl wishes to do her PhD after Masters does not mean she doesn’t want to settle down in life. Give her a break, and respect the fact that she has the confidence to take that up, cos yeah, PhD is no joke. There will come a point when she would happily devote herself to her family, and balance it out with her work life. Her degrees, or lack of them, won’t make any difference. Let her study while she wants to, okay?
- Just because she is 27 and unmarried does not mean she’s been rejected by many men. Maybe, being single is a choice she has made.
- Having a boyfriend does not make her characterless
- Just because she has recently gone through a break up doesn’t mean she is vulnerable and available.
- Just because most of her friends are boys, does not mean she is “having a good time” with all of them.
- Just because she has a drink in her hand does not mean she is an alcoholic.
- Just because she wore a short skirt to one party does not mean she dresses up that way every day.
- Just because she is ambitious doesn’t mean she isn’t a family person.
- Just because she doesn’t discuss her plans doesn’t mean she’s clueless about life. Give her a chance, alright?
- Just because she is outspoken doesn’t mean she is a rebel.
- Just because she comes home late from work does not mean she is sleeping around with her colleagues.
- After a hectic week, give her some time to relax over the weekend. Don’t make that one weekend party make her look like a she’s a frivolous party-girl without a job.
- Just because she is out shopping alone does not mean she is depressed or lonely. It’s how she relaxes, respect that.
- Just because she is on a holiday alone does not mean she doesn’t have company. Maybe it’s a break to get back her lost confidence, or maybe that’s how she is. Admire her spirit instead of giving her advice, okay?
- Just because she is a woman doesn’t mean she can’t kick ass in military school.
- Just because she has a tattoo doesn’t mean she is attention seeking. Maybe that’s her way of expression.
- Just because she doesn’t know how to cook doesn’t mean she won’t make a good wife. Remember when you were just married and cooked chicken curry which was um, a disaster?
- Just because she likes everything pink and shiny and fluffy doesn’t mean she lives in her own world. She can handle some situations much better than her male counterparts.
- Just because she is pretty does not mean she is a whore. And just because she is friendly does not mean she is flirting with you.
Yes, we cry, we are emotional; we take things personally, and sometimes over-react to situations. But this does not give any one the right to judge us in the wrong way. Times are changing; don’t confine her within those boundaries, no matter how orthodox you are. There are some who might be fighting this losing battle, yet compromising on their decisions and plans, just to please society. Respect that.
In case you do want to check it out, here’s the article-