My dating life has been so active that I don’t even remember when I was single for more than a few days at a stretch. I was so proud of myself for going after what I wanted (and getting it all) that I never stopped to consider exactly what it was that I was looking for in relationships. It’s only in my late 20s that I started questioning my core values, my patterns and dating style.
I have been dating since 2005 and feel that it is important to take a gap in between, figure things out on your own before moving on from one person to the next. It’s unfair to others to deal with our baggage just because we think “this is the way we are”
I didn’t think twice before moving between dates because I was a rebel who didn’t care about what people thought. Somewhere this also made me so cool, you know? I didn’t want to settle down in a ‘serious relationship’. Casual was ok with me.
Another thing that I took really casually – health in relationships. #FoodForThought for those reading this – do you discuss sexual history, health concerns etc when you meet someone new? I know a lot of us don’t, this is a conversation I’ve had with my girlfriends and it’s shocking how casually we take new partners and their health. We were discussing HPV, which is short for Human Papillomavirus and there was so much that we realised we learnt so late (better late than never, I’ll keep saying this!)
Did you know that HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection (STI)? HPV infects around 660 million people worldwide. Also, did you know nearly all sexually active people are infected with HPV within months to a few years of becoming sexually active with someone who is already infected with the virus? 2 And that HPV is the leading cause of cervical cancer globally? 3 What’s more, while multiple partners do pose a higher risk in the spread of HPV, you could have just one partner and still get HPV. That is why safe sex practices must be followed. Use condoms and dental dams when you get intimate.
I wish people spoke about this as much as they spoke about the butterflies in the tummy, the first dates, the first night, the first fight, etc.
For those wondering – HPV is spread through intimate skin-to-skin contact during ANY kind of sexual activity, be it deep kissing, oral, vaginal or anal sex. In some low-risk cases, HPV may manifest in the form of genital warts. 6 Genital warts are small bumps on genitals; they may be soft and not painful at all.
But most people who are infected with a high-risk type of HPV which are cancer causing, may never show any signs of the infection until it’s already caused serious health problems. That’s why regular check-ups are important — screening is the only way to know for sure if you’re at risk for cancer from HPV. There is no treatment as such for HPV, but there is a preventive vaccine that you can take. Your doctor can help you with more information. For those who are shy or afraid to talk to their gynaecologist can talk to the expert on letsfighthpv.com about HPV prevention.
I understand conversations around HPV are hushed because no one wants to talk about being sexually active, not in this Indian society, I get it. But we can still have these conversations within our circles and spread awareness so that we #DontGetCaughtByHPV. The reason I write this today is because this is supposed to be a personal webspace where I speak about things that matter to me, and I have always actively spoken about wellness + relationships. If you want to chat more, I am available at dumbbellsanddrama@gmail.com I assure you, all conversations will be sans judgement.
Have you had the HPV talk with your partner before getting in a serious relationship? Do you discuss sexual histories, fears, concerns? Would you like me to talk about this in detail? Let me know, I’d be more than happy to talk about it on my webspace.
Issued in public interest by MSD India.
This information is for awareness only. Talk to your doctor for complete information on HPV prevention.